Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
