he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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