I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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