The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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