you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
