Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
