we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
