barbara walters just said penis...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Welp...herpes.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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