I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
