wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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