Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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