gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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