it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
