hotel room ftw
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
