but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
