Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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