i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
