So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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