Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
