Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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