I'm going to jail i love you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
