oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
