Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
