I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
