I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
