Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
