my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
