Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
