if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
