Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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