You work out of a Hotel?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
