Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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