I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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