its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
