You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just come out here and I will go home with you...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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