Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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