By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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