she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You took a bar mat shot.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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