Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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