Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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