just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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