i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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