they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I love you.
Bad choice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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