yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
NoShamevember. You game?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
