There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
