In the future we'll all be gay
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
