Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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