So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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