i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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