We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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