it was like his penis was on wheels.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
