Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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