we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
this hospital has no fireball
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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