Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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