There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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