A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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