The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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