I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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