really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
