I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
