my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
