his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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